Relentless
I feel like I keep talking about douche-bags at the gym, but HOLY COW!!! It's like a curse or something... they surround us! My new gym, as of a month ago, is ridiculously awesome. It's brand new, smells like fresh rubber, and has a flat-screen in every square 2 feet. I'm more of a music person, but feel much stronger and faster next to pure LCD. It's LEGIT, for sure. Exceeeeeeeeppptttt.... for this Russian douche bag! He is out of control! At least 3 hours of intense work-out a day, and another 3 hours down there talking your freaking ear off. RELENTLESS! My roomie made the mistake of being too friendly initially, and now he won't let her do anything down there. The most ridiculous part is that last week, he even felt so comfortable as to tell her that her arms were flabby. He gave her some exercise tips, and she somehow sat through it. This is where we are different. I would have verbally assaulted his ass!
As I was laying by the pool last weekend with some friends, he ended his work-out with some time in the sun. He circled the pool, and checked out the scenery for a good 4 minutes, never removing his intense headphones. He chose a lay-out chair in the water, and prepared for show off. Though he was spreading his towel along a chair by us.... he walked over to a separate chair (directly in the viewing line of everyone at the pool). This is where he would disrobe. He faced away from us, and muscled off his beater with the classic arm-cross style, basically flexing every single muscle in his back. It felt like one of those body builder competitions. This is when I notice how incredibly top heavy this fool is. Do some legs, bra! He is still wrestling with his wife beater.... it's taking almost a minute. Geez! Now that the shirt is off, he can put his headphones back on, BUT it is not time to leave the stage yet. After a mandatory 2 minute session of back, oblique and arm stretches, he retires to his lounge chair. Luckily, there is a fountain between us and him, so I get a chance to explain to my friends what a dick he was with the "flabby arms" comment last week. 15 minutes later he was doing ab exercises ON his lounge chair IN the pool. The man is DILIGENT, I give him that much. But please, sir, keep to yourself during MY work-out time. Thanks.
Okay, obviously, this isn't my picture.... I am using it to give you an idea of what went on in my car for approximately 25 minutes after I purchased a CAR STICKY PAD!!! Holy Hotdogs! These things are incredible! I don't know if they're made out of Flubber or what, but they freakin' work. You can literally "hang" something from your dashboard just by setting it on a sticky pad. Vertical surface? No problem! All my days of fumbling shit around my car are over. I might even use one to hang something on the wall in my apartment!
Thank you, BLev, for the tip!
SUP'ing, Stand Up Paddling :)
After running at Town Lake this morning, I was by myself, done with my lunges, waiting for Kelli to run a freakin' marathon route, and watching the SUP'ers. I have been seeing them for weeks now, and wanting to do it so bad. So, today, I buried my fear of water, and signed up. COOLEST thing I have ever done! Though I was scared at first, it really isn't that hard. You hafta stay balanced, of course, but it's like riding a bike after that. I soon master the speed paddle, the spin-turn, and even did a little moving around on my board. In 45 minutes, I paddled like 2 miles, and had the time of my life! I started to head back, and feel the kick-ass arm and oblique work-out I was getting. The sun was on my Ginger skin, and I felt like a million bucks. As I stopped to soak in all that is my awesome Saturday, just before I pulled back into dock..... BAYUM! Imbalance hit me like a ton of bricks! The water was chilly, so I had my ass right back up in no time. My work-out gear was no match for the lake, and my wife-beater quickly sank to my knees with all of 20 pounds. I paddled back to shore, walked bare-footed back to the car, met Kelli, and was still over-come with happiness. We went to my fave place, Galaxy Cafe, and I was so soaking wet and cold! But I don't care! I LOVE SUP'ing!!!
Here is the only downfall; Town Lake is riddled with diseases and disgustingness. I CANNOT fall in that lake again! Anyone who hears you went into that lake automatically goes, "Ewwww, gross, you're gonna get sick!" GREAT! I love hearing that. I went immediately into a chlorine pool just to be safe. This won't stop me from SUP'ing again, though! You can find me there, next Saturday :)
I'm callin' your bluff, ma'am.
So, im sitting on the Little Woodrow's patio with some friends, and a Begger lady comes up. She is huge, homeless, and her T-shirt says "America's Next Top Model". She has tons of shit in her hands, some of which is pieces of pepperoni pizza. She hands us a card with some handwriting on it, and grubs on that pizza... staring.
"I am deaf. I cannot hear you. Please give me a donation so I can help my deaf family."
Call me evil, but I don't give a shit, and am absolutely positive that you are full of it! We deny, hand her back the card, and she moves onto the next table. She leans over the railing and hands them the card. There's more of them, but don't worry she has more cards! Under the pizza, and the Nokia that has "Snake" on it, she locates the back-up cards, and hands them out with marinara on her fingers. I knew this would be good judging by the ridiculousness that this table had displayed earlier. We start to banter and yell and call her bluff. As she is trying to play pictionary with 6 drunk tards, Bill yells, "You're not deaf!" She TOTALLY heard him and looked right at him! Bayum! Gotchya!
Wait! The drunk blonde says she knows sign language! We wait anxiously to see if we can realllllly bust her. They start doing some crazy stuff back and forth, people are yelling, laughing, all of which while America's Next Top Model juggles pizza crust and index cards. As we were hootin' and hollerin' the blonde stands up and screams at us, "Shut up! I can't hear!" ha! Really? It was awesome! The blonde girl gives her a dollar and she scampers. Translated, it was the blonde introducing herself, and then homegirl repeating the blonde's name back to her. "WTF?", I think to myself. Apparently, (according the Plastered Barbie) this is customary for sign-introduction, but she still never revealed her own name.
When we asked the girl why she thought homegirl deserved the bill, she said because she respected the fact that she spoke to her, and the lady communicated back. Pssschhh, it was such a joke! I asked, "So, since I can communicate back to you right now, can I have a dollar?"
Either way, it was thoroughly entertaining! I wonder how you sign in Chinese? Or Spanish? Is it different?
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"I am deaf. I cannot hear you. Please give me a donation so I can help my deaf family."
Call me evil, but I don't give a shit, and am absolutely positive that you are full of it! We deny, hand her back the card, and she moves onto the next table. She leans over the railing and hands them the card. There's more of them, but don't worry she has more cards! Under the pizza, and the Nokia that has "Snake" on it, she locates the back-up cards, and hands them out with marinara on her fingers. I knew this would be good judging by the ridiculousness that this table had displayed earlier. We start to banter and yell and call her bluff. As she is trying to play pictionary with 6 drunk tards, Bill yells, "You're not deaf!" She TOTALLY heard him and looked right at him! Bayum! Gotchya!
Wait! The drunk blonde says she knows sign language! We wait anxiously to see if we can realllllly bust her. They start doing some crazy stuff back and forth, people are yelling, laughing, all of which while America's Next Top Model juggles pizza crust and index cards. As we were hootin' and hollerin' the blonde stands up and screams at us, "Shut up! I can't hear!" ha! Really? It was awesome! The blonde girl gives her a dollar and she scampers. Translated, it was the blonde introducing herself, and then homegirl repeating the blonde's name back to her. "WTF?", I think to myself. Apparently, (according the Plastered Barbie) this is customary for sign-introduction, but she still never revealed her own name.
When we asked the girl why she thought homegirl deserved the bill, she said because she respected the fact that she spoke to her, and the lady communicated back. Pssschhh, it was such a joke! I asked, "So, since I can communicate back to you right now, can I have a dollar?"
Either way, it was thoroughly entertaining! I wonder how you sign in Chinese? Or Spanish? Is it different?
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My favorite part about cooking is that I can do whatever I want! I control my own destiny. I am what you can call a "go with the flow" cooker. I don't follow any rules, or recipes, I go with my gut, and create magic. Of course, I have had some bad turn-outs, some upset tummies, and some unruly rioters, but all in all.... I'm pretty much Betty Crocker. If I had endless money, it would be insane, but unfortunately cooking is an expensive hobby. I LOVE to cook for people, and try to host fabulous meals. For some reason, it makes my day to feed friends.
One of my new cooking projects has been what some of us like to call a "LOST" dinner. I am a Lostie. Call it queer if u must, but the show is intriguing. Every Tuesday night we gather and eat an Island meal, meaning a meal comprised of only things that could be found on an island. It's fun, and healthy :) Last week I made lemon-garlic Tilapia, on a bed of greens, feta, green onions, and balsamic vinagarette, topped with caramelized red peppers and onions. Also with lemon-baked asparagus, and fresh fruit. IT. WAS. LEGIT! Thank God! I was so thankful when it came out okay. Not only did I forget a few of my ingredients, I also made some other KEY mistakes in my cooking game that night. 1. I just didn't fully prepare. I was cooking at someone else's house, and that can be frustrating when you don't know your way around. 2. I forgot my favorite special olive oil, and my secret seasoning. F! 3. As I opened the jar of minced Garlic that I brought, I knew immediately that the smell was off. I get a waft, and realize that I had somehow, sometime, switched the lids on my garlic, and my ginger! Bad move! Luckily, Kelli had some Garlic, so the plan went on. With garlic and lemon juice, nothing can go wrong. 4. Even though I made it through mistake #3, I must have been feeling a little frisky, because I decided to go ahead and toss some of that Ginger in there anyways, just to see what happens. "Go with the flow" 5. I let my nerves get to me. It was my first time cooking for 3 of my guests, and I really wanted to make a good impression.
With no outline, no rules, and no recipe, my dinner ended up being pretty awesome! That's what REAL cooking is, it's CREATING! Okay, that was queer. goodnight.
Loving Life in Austin, Texas :)
Hiking down the Greenbelt, heading towards something awesome :)
Sculpture Falls... sunning and people watching :)
UFC 111
Ahhhhh, now..... to my BOO's fight. George St Pierre... freakin' bad ass. Of course I knew he was not going to let Dan Hardy take that belt away form him, I just kinda wished he would have knocked his ass out! There was five rounds of some pretty good ground-n-pound (that's douche-bag Joe Rogan talk), and it looked like Hardy was gonna tap out in the 4th round, when GSP did his sexy little Kamura :) Anyways, the fight was great, my man won unanimously, TOLD YA!!!!
I tried something new this weekend. I DID NOT go out! I know, I know, how can that be!?! Well, it's pretty fun. By not going out and getting shit faced all weekend, I opened up a whole new world of possibilities. I did more physical activity before Saturday than I had done all week. It was great! I was out of bed, and ready to rock by 10 am every morning, and I didn't feel like death! Phone? Check! Keys? Check! I knew where my debit card was, and I never had to pay an egotistical foreign cab driver. I didn't eat late-nite death food, and I don't have 16 unwarranted charges on my bank account. I didn't black-out, and I didn't embarrass myself by performing a Beyonce routine in front of dozens of people. I have all of my belongings in my possession, all of my friends are in tact, and I didn't risk anyone's life by putting myself behind the wheel. There are no phone calls or texts on my phone past midnight, and no ridiculous status updates either. No douche-bags were roasted, and no guy was given my little sister's phone number so he would walk away. My feet don't hurt, there is not make-up all over my face, and I didn't have to try on everything in my closet before I left the house. The greatest part is.... it's only Sunday people!!!! Do yourself a favor, and go do something. Forget facebook, the lamest Sweet 16 ever, and air conditioning. Go outside. Sweat. Have fun. Wear sunscreen!
What an AMAZING day to be in Austin! Morning run at Town Lake, brunch at Galaxy Cafe, an afternoon of hiking the greenbelt and playing in the water.... Now laying poolside with good friends and some beautiful rays. Keeping my Ginger skin safe, no worries :) can't wait for dinner and a movie with the girls! Life is F'ing awesome!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
AHHHHH!!! So excited! Tomorrow is my last day of working where I work. That's not really what I am so excited about.... I will miss my co-workers.... but what I'm excited about is the party! We are going to a really great place and DYSFUNKSHUN JUNKSHUN is playing! I freakin' love them! I am ready to have a good send off, and jam out with my favorite ladies! New paths, and a brighter future :)
Swan Dives Part I
I recently discovered that Food Network doesn't know what they are talking about. Sure, I love your shows, and IronChef America is my jam.... But where do they get off saying where the best tacos in America are? NOT at TacoTaco, Sir! Seriously, with all of the resources at Food Network's fingertips, you would think they'd try and recommend a place that would at least pass a food inspection. Anyways, my point is, if Food Network can get away with naming bullshit awards to places like that, then I can damn sure give some pretty official awards myself! I think this calls for a new series! Swan Dives, is here people, and I'm not gonna mess around. I like to eat good food, and I like to talk about it.
I'm gonna go ahead and kick things off right, with one of my absolute FAVES!
GALAXY CAFE
This place is the bomb.com! Not only do they have ridiculously cool T-shirts, but their food is off the charts! Chicken salad with the perfect combination of walnuts and grapes can do wonders to me. Dinner specials, breakfast schmorgusbord, OUT OF THIS WORLD MASHED SWEET POTATOES, and the best club wrap in town.... the Milky Way has nothing on Galaxy Cafe! Hopefully someone from the Food Network will go check it out, and probably die of delight.
Today, I experienced 2 very horrifying things
First, some of my friends introduced me to ChatRoulette. Holy shit! What has this F'ed up world come to? No child should be let ANYWHERE near a web cam! On ChatRoulette.com, you can virtually start a random video-chat with someone from anywhere across the world! It has the potential to be really cool, but unfortunately we live in a world with some serious sick-o's. You shuffle through random people, looking for someone fun to chat with. Approximately 70% of the people that I got "shuffled" to were Pervy McPervertons, and all X-rated. As you click next, the new chat pops up and surprises you, be prepared. Most of the creepers are not showing their faces, more so disgusting actions, and extremities. It's awful! Nothing was funnier than when 3 teenage girls popped up on my screen and their faces were covered with horror from what they had seen before they skipped to me. It was hilarious! Despite all of the creepy losers, we did meet some normal people. It's such a releiving feeling whenever you see someone "normal" pop up on your screen. I have no desire to do it again, but I'm glad I got to experience what everyone is raving about.
Second, I watched the movie "Precious". I have never had any desire to watch it, obviously, and I only did it because my friends were over, and they wanted to watch it. I knew that I would be sitting here, typing my little heart out, throughout whatever movie they picked anyways. As we sat on the couch, and listened to Anthony read the movie Description aloud, I couldn't help but gasp in disbelief! The first sentence states that poor 600 lb. Precious gets impregnated by her father, unwillingly of course, TWICE! Holy cow! Who wants to watch that? Immediately upset about having to see this, I do my best to keep my eyes on the computer, and focus on my blog. That was impossible, however, since the first scene of the movie was Precious getting raped by her disgusting father. It is one of the saddest, most horrible, sick & twisted movies I have ever seen. I cried later in the movie just because it was so screwed up. Why don't they make good movies anymore?
Boot Camp
This is what I felt like today as I was working out in the rain. Though hesitant at first, I am so glad I went through with it. I felt like a freakin' champion! Running was easier, the air was cooler, and laying down on my yoga-mat soaked in rain and grass was incredibly refreshing.
THISSSSSSSS
ISSSSS
SPARTAAAAAAAA!
Hasta Luego
The economy is eating college graduates for breakfast. It' ridiculous. I have just recently found a great job, and I am UBER excited about it! BUT it was a looooong row to hoe, people! I went to more interviews than Donald Trump last year. Interviews don't scare ME though, I can totally rock one out. Nothing feels greater than walking out of an interview knowing that you kicked ass in there. By the same token, it feels pretty terrible when you find out you didn't get the job. I made it through 3 rounds at Whole Foods last Winter, and I was on top of the world!!! I got myself so pumped up about working for an Austin based company whose named appeared in Forbes Magazine as a straight baller. Working there would be incredible. Being the over-sharer that I am, I told some friends about my possible opportunity, and got some pretty good feedback. Someone even told me that Whole Foods had employee-hippie-retreats every Summer in Colorado.... need I say more? So you would understand why I was so upset to learn that I came in 2nd, for a KICK-ASS job!
Early last Summer I saw an ad in the paper for a Personal Banker. I was a teller at Wells Fargo when I was 18, and I'm pretty good with money..... okay I am terrible with money, but I do like it. So what the heck, right? I went in, SCHOOLED about 20 people in a math test, and went on to the interview. The lady who interviewed me was one of 3 interviewers, and I couldn't have gotten a better one! She looked straight outta Odessa, Texas. (That's more make-up, hairspray & rhinestones than Lubbock women, for those of you who aren't familiar.) Turns out, she enjoyed spending her free time painting and decorating for her friends. She ate me up! In a good way. She hired me as a Personal Banker, and told me to add a blazer & panty-hose to my work-attire on my way out. Shit!
I had to do training for like 2 months at the downtown branch on Congress. It was a series of computer training classes, it sucked. I managed to skip a little bit of the classes, and work my charm on a nerdy instructor. (who happened to ALSO rip cigs on the roof during break time so we hit it off well.) One time I even left and toured the Capitol like the tourist that I am. It came time to go to the branch, and have a DESK! Finally! I got stationed at Highland Mall, which happens to be the "Ghetto-Stabbing-Mall", as I was told from an Austonian. Perfect! I get there, get my desk, and my first desk-top name-plate. It was glorious. I soon learned that there was nothing to do, because the mall was dying and only had half of the stores occupied. There was a smoothie place that I pretty much supported, and a REALLY AWESOME under-ground sneaker shop. My job was to go out and "get customers" as much as I could, so I spent most... all of my time out "getting customers". We could even leave the mall as long as we got signatures from 3 people at the business. By the grace of God, the near by Chili's Bartender served 2 years for forgery.
Sometimes though, I did feel like doing some work. I enjoyed leading the team meetings, being in charge of all decorating and organization. I also took charge of all print work and signage. That kind of stuff floats my boat, and so does working with people. The thing was...... this was IBC bank. THE BANK OF MEXICO. One of the main reasons I got the job was because I told them that I could speak fluent Spanish. I cannot speak fluent Spanish. The training was all good, but when it came time for me to talk to a customer I was screwed. Answering the phone was like a scary game of roulette for me. IBC bank wasn't cool with that. They also wanted me to work weekends right in the prime of my first Summer in Austin. No way Jose! You better believe I peaced out of that place with my desk-top name-plate in hand and a smile on my face!!!! Hasta Luego!!!
GSP
There's no sexier quality in a man than the ability to beat some ass.... and of all the great ass-beaters.... George St Pierre might be the hottest! Not only is he doing a damn good job of holding down his UFC title right now, he has also shown his positive character in the Ultimate Fighter TV show. Be sure and watch him work Dan Hardy this weekend :)
Mustache Party
As I have discussed before, I have an impulsive-purchasing-disorder, which I am not proud of. For me, the weekly grocery store trip quickly turns into a Pescaterian-crazed-Rachel Ray fantasy, with middle aged women mad-doggin' me as I block the aisles, looking up recipes on any one of my awesome recipe apps. (See; Can I Marry my iPhone!?! Part III) Cooking is my jam, so it's no surprise that my #1 FAVE compulsive purchase was my 3am Slap Chop 2 buy! An amazing tool, and often the highlight of my evening; the Slap Chop has dramatically changed my life. (Despite the fact that I didn't even receive my bendy-sweet-rubber-cutting boards, with handles!)
Well, now that I went on a short tangent.... let me get back to the issue at hand; my #2 FAVE compulsive purchase; the MUSTACHE PARTY! It all started last Summer, when I went to Nacagdoches for a "Stash Bash". It was insane, that town is insane, I plan to write a separate, and lengthy blog about the party crazed maniacs, and playboy cheerleaders that roam the SFA campus. Since the Stash Bash was around the same time my SFA friend was graduating, I decided I need to bring a gift for him. So one night, in an Insomnia driven internet binge, I quickly realized that what I needed to buy him was as many fake mustaches as I could find. I murdered every search engine like my life depended on it. By the grace of God, I somehow stumbled upon an ebay deal that seemed too good to be true. I had two choices; 1. Take the safe route and buy the ones that seem legit. Though I will get much fewer mustaches for my money on this deal, it seems to be the going rate for these babies. Option 2. Buy the shady mustache mountain galore, with an undecipherable Japanese description. Is it a scam-buy? Shit... Japan, or whatever language that is... that's pretty far... I wonder how long they will take to arrive? BUT, of course, I would much rather show up with more mustaches than you could imagine, as well as make sure and have enough to party with for the next few years..... I bought a few hundred mustaches that day. Unfortunately, they came in AFTER the Stash Bash in Nacagdoches, but they came.... holy crap.... they came! I got a box of fake mustaches that could stock up a Mr. Gatti's prize store for a decade. Freakin' awesome! Over the past 7 months, I have busted them out a few times, forgotten about them, given a ton away as gifts, and even tried a few on... nothing too serious, but always a crowd pleaser.
This weekend,however, changed all that. I finally had my mustache party! Some friends and I finally got crunk enough to put them to real use. As I busted out one package of mustaches, we quickly battled for the coolest stash-style based upon shape, size, and nick name. The mustache names are one of the best parts about them. Miles immediately jumped all over "The Casanova", and and Kelli went for "The Rogue". In my head I thought, "What the hell does rogue mean, Hitler?" Cass picked up "The Smarty" as a unibrow, and then decided it looked better on Allie, the dog. I went with "The Scoundrel" (handlebars, duh!) for my stash, and cut a Casanova in half for some pretty wicked eye-brows.... "The Casanova Cut". The photo shoot that occurred during this Mustache Party was insane in the membrane. Some photos, I pray never surface, but here is a pretty dang good one for you to see.
Today I met someone with an astonishing outlook on life. I am still in shock over the beliefs of this man, so I am going to share it with my 6, possibly 7 now, followers :)
He is "not a fan of fanaticism" if that makes any sense??? He is opposed to TEAM sports, and the fact that people (FANS) attach themselves to "their" team with such intensity. I meant to ask him if he approved of individual sports, such as Golf, but couldn't get any words out at the time. He told me that he hates the way people "boast" after their team wins a game, and the way that people get so serious about sports that they are not even participating in. He does not agree with someone becoming a hardcore college sports fan just because they pay that school for an education. WTF!?! I bleed Texas Tech Football, so I began to get a little upset. By this point you have realized that yes, this is a MAN I am talking about. A man who doesn't like team sports??? It is ridiculous!
I just don't get it. You can feel strongly about hating snakes, or Asians, or going to the mall.... but how can someone (especially a man) feel so strongly against Fanaticism? Were you on the C Team in Jr. High? A band member? A waterboy? or do you genuinely feel that it is unhealthy for people to be Fans?
In an attempt to argue with a man I have just met, who also happens to be a higher-up at my NEW job which I haven't even started yet............ bad idea much?............. I proceed to explain to him that I was born and raised a Texas Tech Red Raider fan, which led me to go to school there. I do not have a F'in Double-T tattooed on the inside of my mouth just because I got a degree or three there..... I told him that I write about Texas Tech sports a lot, and he quickly realized just who he was messing with. With my GUNS UP, I told him that I just didn't understand his opinions and that I think it's pretty flabbergasting.
I don't hate, or judge, (unless you are a complete retard begging for haters), and like I always say, "Whatever floats your boat!" His wife must love NOT watching ESPN, and Sports Center on a 30 minute loop! But seriously....
Fiddler on the Roof
At my Highschool, we had to do this "thing" called a Senior Project. This was a YEAR long project, in which students had to choose a major topic, and study it for one semester, write a 20 page hard-core paper, and then spend the second semester with a mentor, and complete a large-scale project and presentation of what you have learned. For example, someone might choose "repainting a car", and then they study it, write a paper, find a mentor, and complete a car-painting project. People learned Yoga, Photography, and even how to build a deer-blind! Seems gay, because it is, but it was serious business at Lubbock Cooper! If you didn't pass the Senior Project, you weren't graduating. No bullshit! I saw it happen the year before us, which is why I picked something really special that I thought I could learn easily:
I chose to learn how to play the FIDDLE! Yes, the F'ing fiddle! What was I thinking? The truth is, I was thinking of starting a band of some sorts. My best friend was going to choose "playing the banjo", and we were searching for a singer, and a Harmonica player. Though it came as no surprise, I ended up being the only one who went through with the plan, and I was fine with it. As long as it was weird and nobody else was doing it, I was in! My grandmother had an OLD fiddle that she gave me, and I quickly began dreaming of how far Fiddle Playing could take me in life. I could play for the Dixie Chix, or maybe even THE BOSS!!! Did you know that he LOVES Gingers? Check this out! Anyways, I signed up, and as my mission statement for the year I put, "To play 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia' at my final presentation". Wow! That'a a huge Mission statement, but I didn't care!
So, the first half of the project came along, and I began researching Western Swing music. This is what I wrote my research paper about, so boring, and lame, barf! Anyways, I kicked ass at the paper, duh! I was ready to start fiddlin'! I got a reputable mentor that my Mom found, who knew Lubbock had a famous Fiddler? We met right off the bat, and it went pretty well. He told me that my fiddle was as old as crap, and that it needed some serious repairs. Just great, 3 less weeks of Fiddling! How am I ever gonna get my name out there now? My first real lesson went fantastically! I learned how to hold it, and what the notes were, kindof! I felt so cool!
I have never had any sort of musical capabilities... EVER! I broke my plastic flute in the 5th grade because I wanted to smash it rather than learn to play some gay flute. I NEVER chose band over art in Jr. High, and I damn sure didn't join that shit in highschool. No Thankyou! I cannot sing, or play anything, and I don't know what a tune or a melody is even about. I only know those vocab words from American Idol anyways! So learning an instrument at the age of 17 quickly began to seem like quite the challenge. I soon lost hope, and realized that fiddling was pretty hard. I quit going to meet with my mentor, and I never practiced because my whole family was tired of hearing me suck.
It finally came down to it. D Day. Presentation time. You better believe that my actual "presentation" (as in my poster board and pictures) was the bomb.com! I worked the poster board. There was kids bringing in deer blinds, and shitty posters everywhere. I began to get nervous. I pull out my fiddle and prepare what I am going to play for my panel of 4 teachers and one civilian. "The Devil Went Down to Georgia"??? NO! I was playing this thing, I think it's called a scale. It's about 10 notes, and they go from bottom to top, i think. Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah.... Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah. Yep! That's what I learned! All of the sudden, I bust a freaking string! You have got to be kidding me. Just before I start to cry and freak out, I realize that this could be a good thing. Surely you cant play any bad-ass fiddle songs without your G-string, right? Awesome!
I make my way into the evaluation room, and I immediately feel better. I got one football coach, one Ag teacher, one teacher that taught on the Mayflower, and an easily-charmed civilian man! This is gonna be okay! I let them know about the tragic loss of my string just before I entered the room, and I get immediate compassion! This is great, because I was nervous about how they would react to the next part of my presentation: the Video. We had to take a video/scrapbook documenting the semester and "learning" with our mentor. This was hard since I had only met with my mentor a few times, despite the fact that my "learning log" had about 60 documented hours of "learning"! In a last minute scramble to create my video, my mom got out the camera and a stack of T-shirts from my room. She told me to start out being really crappy, and work my way up to being better (pretty freaking hard to do when you can only make 10 noises, noises that sound like a dying cat). As we kept changing my shirt and hair-do, I tried my hardest to make the video seem as though it documented a few months of "learning".
My mom and I worked hard to make sure my video was legit , or at least appeared to be legit. So you can imagine my astonishment when I realized just how UN-legit the video was, right alongside my evaulation group. There was no date on the video, and I looked completely different from fake-day to fake-day..... BUT!!! The same EXACT episode of Seinfeld was on in the background the ENTIRE time. Though my mom moved me around the game room, we neglected to change the channel, or even just turn the stupid thing off! OMG!
I freaked out for about a day, but was happy to find out that I received a 98 on my Senior Project! Yes people, a 98! This was soley because of my swagger, and the fact that my evaluation team was awesome! I had a friend who recorded an entire CD of his own songs, and barely passed! That's because he got the psycho-spanish-teacher and the student-sexing-coach who was scared to do any wrong. Gotta love the Senior Project, my sister is doing it right now, but she is doing a great job! She has chosen weight-loss, and is currently sitting about 25 pounds lighter than she was before X-mas! Congrats Sissy!
It's time to start getting ready for Football season people!!! It is now more important than ever that the TRUE Red Raider fans show their support! We have a new coach and almost an entirely new coaching staff, we might be seeing some serious changes this season. I think Tommy Tubberville (TT) is gonna be awesome! It's about time we bring some of that SEC badd-ass-ness into the BIG 12, and I think that he might be able to turn this thing around! Not that the program was in a shit hole or anything, but we have been running a passing offense, and pansy defense for too long now. I think TT can help us even our game out, and possibly even create a focus on being a FOOTBALL TEAM! No pirates, no bullshit, just a good 'ole American Football Team!
BEST PURCHASE OF 2K10...THUS FAR
For a couple of months, I have been trying to remember to pick up a tube of Super Glue at the store. I only needed it to fix a broken leather bracelet, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Last week, I passed some as I was checking out at Walmart, so I bought it in excitement that I had finally "remembered".
I went home and fixed my bracelet! Awesome! I was too excited to even care that my index finger was still adhered to the bracelet, and I immediately began looking for something else to Super Glue. I repaired some earrings that had been coming loose, I mended a cracked candle holder, and I even used it to upholster a wall decor item!!! I soon found myself fixing all sorts of things around the house! My iPhone case, my domino box, my remote control, the list goes on and on! Get your ass some Super Glue people!!!
So, the Olympics were just here, and I didn't really get to catch much of it. Luckily, I have begun to discover the greater things in life, and I am not spending as much time on my ass in front of the television. I am not really much of a Winter Olympics person anyways. I like Gymnastics and Diving, not Curling and Luging! The Luge.... what a disastrous year for that event! I feel for the guy and everything, but seriously, that's a risk that you take when you agree to fly down an ice tube going 100 mph. Shit happens. No one ever said that luging was any sort of a good idea, regardless of the dangers. Who just walked outside one day and said, "I think I wanna build a large water slide made of ice, then have a box car race down, and eventually one day have one of the greatest movies EVER made about this new sport?" It's retarded. I also saw a bi-athlon event, where the competitors had to shoot a rifle at some targets, and then cross-country ski. Why is that a combination, and why the F is that an Olympic Sport? I won't even get into Curling...
The Olympics are for SPORTS. A sport is where people exert energy and use strength combined with training and strategy to kick ass. Sitting in a sled and trying really hard to be aerodynamic is not a sport. Polishing ice is not a sport, and "Ice Dancing" is a hobby. How about they add Football to the Winter Olympics, huh?
Swan's Texts from LastNight: Part I
(On a DT night, Shara is trying to find me on 6th street)
Shara: Where u at?
Swan: Union Park booty dancin with my liver!!!
haha, wow. I like my liver to party!
(from my little sister on a weekend)
Taylor: I love my sister, yes I do, I love my sister, how bout u?
(6 hours later at 4:30 am)
Swan: That was the cutest text ever :) I showed it to all of my friends
hmmm, love you too Sissy....
Shara: Where u at?
Swan: Union Park booty dancin with my liver!!!
haha, wow. I like my liver to party!
(from my little sister on a weekend)
Taylor: I love my sister, yes I do, I love my sister, how bout u?
(6 hours later at 4:30 am)
Swan: That was the cutest text ever :) I showed it to all of my friends
hmmm, love you too Sissy....
Finger Toes
I have the longest toes on the planet! Everyone who knows me, knows this about me. Even the pedicure ladies tell me this, and they see millions of toes a day! It never fails, someone will notice my toes and gasp, say something, or try to "shake" my foot (Lisa Garcia). I can cross my toes, I can pick up ANYTHING with my toes, and I can even draw and write my name with my toes. Tell me that isn't special! Some people just don't appreciate them.... jealous much?
I am used to the ridicule, and the incessant finger-toe jokes.... it doesn't bother me anymore. But what does bother me is the fact that my toes prohibit me from performing basic tasks. Such as; walking on carpet! If I walk bare-footed on carpet, it's over right then and there. I will end up on my face, no doubt! I think that somehow I trip over my own toes. It's like they get rolled up underneath my foot or something, I dunno, but it never ends well.
I also stump my toes on the reg. Door jambs, floor-level changes, computer chairs at work, ALWAYS in my way! This week has been brutal because I am in a new, unfamiliar place with boxes all over the floor. All of my toes feel broken right now.
The WORST part about having ridiculously long toes is buying shoes! I cannot wear very many styles of shoe. Summer is the hardest, because I often have trouble finding something that my toes do not hang over the edge of. As a result, I typically end up buying shoes that are atleast a full size bigger than what I should be wearing. I try to find sandals that are squared, not rounded at the toe, and really look for something that will let that 2nd guy hang out there pretty far. (P.S. Super long 2nd toe means I'm smart, or head of the household or something like that)Sneakers and boots aren't much easier though, because those cause me excruciating pain. I get all excited about buying a smaller size, not having banana boat feet, and end up making it a painful experience. My 2nd and 3rd toes roll up in there when I wear close-toed shoes, and I immediately lose all polish on those digits from the impact. It's a hard life, but I'm doin it.
I found myself CRACKING UP in the car the other day, when I heard this commercial. Don't get me wrong, I've heard it about 458 times this year, but for some reason.... this time.... I listened. NO!!! Your baby cannot read! Maybe when he's 3-4ish, and that would be pretty bad ass! Most kids learn how to read in Kindergarten, so a reading-toddler would be a pretty great accomplishment for any parent! So why tell people that their babies can read? It's ridiculous! My favorite part is that the box says it's for ages 5+.... makes a ton of sense, right?
I don't have a baby, nor do I want one.... But would definitely go for it if I thought I could get a reading-baby! That would be awesome! "Hey Mom, did you see that there is a choking hazard warning on this passy that you keep shoving into my mouth so I can't speak full sentences and read?" Get real people. But seriously, if you DO see a reading baby.... Grab it!
I don't have a baby, nor do I want one.... But would definitely go for it if I thought I could get a reading-baby! That would be awesome! "Hey Mom, did you see that there is a choking hazard warning on this passy that you keep shoving into my mouth so I can't speak full sentences and read?" Get real people. But seriously, if you DO see a reading baby.... Grab it!
Take a bite out of Crime!
I like onions! Some people hate them, but to each his own, right? I like them on my hamburgers, hotdogs, in my tuna salad, with my fajitas, and especially in my homemade salsa! They can really make a meal, but I would never eat one without it being a topping to something else! TRUE LIFE: I WATCHED THIS CHICK TAKE A BITE OUT OF AN ONION AS IF IT WERE AN APPLE! Holy Crap! How disgusting! This should be a crime! She acted like it was totally normal, and so did the 5 people she was sitting with. This was at a dinner party, so of course, my friends and I looked on in amazement, wondering what she was thinking. Who does that!?!
I spend a shit-ton of my free time memorizing music videos in my room. Mainly super hott dance moves, but sometimes I try a little something different. Since I have just recently finished Bad Romance by Lady Gaga, that's my current choreography concoction. The thing is though, I just can't get the Zombie part down pat. It's driving me nuts, but it's really hard to act like a bug-eyed Zombie Girl.
Working on it....
Working on it....
As I sit here on hold with Austin Energy, I think about flying my plane right into their main building. Not really, I don't have a plane, and I like my car too much to crash it, but F Austin Energy!!! All I wanna do is set up my electricity at my new place, but apparently it is too hard of a thing for them to do. I have talked to 4 representatives, and all of them are as smart as an empty box of dog crap. My address is not coming up in the "system" because no one has ever lived there before, sir! Of course it makes sense! No one has ever had electricity there, so WHY WOULD you have it in your "system"??? Take your "system" and shove it!
The guy this morning was the worst. Sometimes I do feel bad about being a complete witch to Customer Service Reps, but NOT this fool. He was begging for it. He tried to tell me that the solution to this problem would be for me to go over to the new place, and look around for a meter. I should then take the numbers off of the meter, and call back. Are you kidding me? Isn't that YOUR job, sir? I'm just trying to get some damn electricity, and you're trying to turn me into a meter-reader.
Thank God this guy can't spit in my electricity!!!
The guy this morning was the worst. Sometimes I do feel bad about being a complete witch to Customer Service Reps, but NOT this fool. He was begging for it. He tried to tell me that the solution to this problem would be for me to go over to the new place, and look around for a meter. I should then take the numbers off of the meter, and call back. Are you kidding me? Isn't that YOUR job, sir? I'm just trying to get some damn electricity, and you're trying to turn me into a meter-reader.
Thank God this guy can't spit in my electricity!!!
I just don't get homeless people. I have never really been around that many since I am from Lubbock. We had like 3, and they mainly hung out by "The Strip". I remember a one-legged guy, and a lady that I'm pretty sure was just a prostitute, but that is the extent of Lubbock's homeless population. So you could imagine my astonishment when I moved to Austin. They are EVERYWHERE! It doesn't matter if it's the nice part of town, North, South, or shit-hole... you better believe there's gonna be a homeless person on each corner of that intersection! I wonder if they have specified corners to sit at? Are some corners more profitable than others? Do they have bum-fights to settle their corner-quarrels? It's a sub-culture here, crazy!
I do not feel bad for them. Call me crazy, but I have seen that Barbara Walters Special about homeless people. They make a killin out there! I always remember that one guy who collected something like $500 in one day, and then walked around the corner to get into his luxury car. It's a joke! How do you know if someone is legitimately homeless or not? The truth is, I could really care less who is or isn't homeless, I still do not feel bad for them. In the 8 hours they spent sitting on their ass collecting other people's income, they could have walked their "hungry" ass right down to McDonald's and applied for a job. Easy as that! If they really wanted a better life, they could get it. Begging is the LAZY way, not the right way. (same category as low-life drug dealers) (no offense to respectable drug dealers)
When I first moved here, I was riding with a friend one day, and he decided to give a dollar to a begger. I was not a fan! I immediately expressed my opinion on the matter, and we agreed to disagree. I guess people down here are more okay with it than others, but I am not included in that group.
***If you are a grenade-launcher-begger, and your sign says hungry.... take your fat ass home!!! (no pun-intended)
***If your sign is funny or witty, GREAT effort! I still do not feel bad for you, but if you give me a chuckle on my way to work, you might just get a dollar! eg: "You may live in a $200,000 home... but I live under a $2 million bridge!"
***The new "Bottled Water For Sale" idea is great! I love seeing those guys on a Sunday morning drive-of-shame! You get $2!!!
***I understand that with the financial crisis our Nation is in, there are an abundance of respectable people without jobs. I have seen some of these people on the corners, with signs about their kids and homes at risk, etc. BUT!!! Let me assure you sir, your kids would much rather you come home and say that you went to 4 unsuccessful interviews today than come home and tell you that all of their friends on the bus saw their Dad beggin for money on the corner. Trust me!
So, I am making the big move, here in the next few weeks, and might not have much time to be on here. Stop crying, mom and 6 followers.... I will be back on top of things in no time! I might even get a re-boost or something from my break. Yes, of course I will occasionally splash some shit on here from my phone when I can't help myself, but my internet connection might be sketchy for a while, which will make it hard for me to post pics and links. The charm will be here though ;)
WWF Championnnnnnnnn
WWF, Words With Friends, is a fabulous app! For some reason, people thought that it was cooler than Scrabble, and EVERYONE decided to become on Overnight-WWF-Addict! There were times when I had 20-some-odd games going. I play WWF with people that I don't even talk to, nor have I seen in years. WHY!?! you ask... because iPhones are freakin awesome! When you download an app, and start it up, you can sync your account with your Contact List, and also your Facebook and Twitter friends. Pretty creepy since I am Facebook friends with people that I DO NOT know! I'm also friends with people that suck at life, some kind of.... sketchy characters, some grown-ups, some strippers, some people from my YoungLife days, and even the Mexican kids that used to smoke doobies outside of the Lubbock Cooper FFA barn! Not all people that I want blowing up my phone with word knowledge! Anyways, WWF has been my JAM for a long time, and I have recently been turned off of it. I wanted to tell you all why. How could you stop liking WWF!?! It's insane, I know, but the reason is..... CHEATERS! You yella-bellied scum bags! I can't believe that people have been cheating! No wonder A*** W***** is beating me by 200 points!!! and scoring over 400 points in a game!?! I freakin knew that there was no way! When WWF first hit the scene, I was workin everybody! I was the one to beat! Then all of the cool kids joined in and used their laziness to belittle the TRUE WWF FANS! Ugh, glad I got that off of my chest!
Cheaters don't get anywhere in life!
SO MANY LOSERS ON MY NEWS FEED!!!! Be sure and post 400 pics of your bad ass cars so that EVERYONE KNOWS that you have so many bad ass cars, despite the fact that you are obviously still a materialistic loser. We all know what you had to do to get all of those cars, and marrying an old ass nasty rich guy is about as coo...l as you were in HighSchool. What was your name again?
Chili's has the most visually appealing commercials I have ever seen. The drinks splash with such grace. The chocolate love mounds make your mouth water at first sight. The chicken crispers look crisper than a Benji straight out of Weezy's wallet. How sweet of a job is that to make food look delish-shush (Katt Williams voice) all day! I don't know if you have seen a Chili's commercial lately, but they're really puttin on a good front right now. A menu change-up, fresh "NEW" items, and a chicken crisper show down are their special, so I just had to hit that up tonight. Since Kelli asked me to be her Val first, she took me to dinner :)
A lot of my friends make fun of me for liking Chili's so much. You could call it an obsesh if u like..... Hate all you want baby, I LOVE CHILI'S! It was legit in Little Lubbock, and they offer a wide variety of food choices. It's a friendly environment, and totally acceptable for kids of ANY age to ask for crayons! My FAVE part about Chili's, though, is the dipping sauces. I like any type of food that involves a sauce, or condiment. I typically order appetizers for my meal, and always ask for extra, different choices, on the side, something different, more of the green stuff, and anything involving balsamic sauces. This is a terrible habit, and it often makes me look like "one of those" customers.
We sit down. DP, and DC, please. Also sir, chips and salsa with Avocado Ranch, please ;) This is a must have. Kel and I learned about AR from our friend Brittnee. Delish! Right off the bat I noticed the menu change-up. It totally threw me off my game! Good sales approach by Chili's, though, because my unfamiliarity with the new menu layout left me reading over the entire thing. Hmmm, did you know that you can get bottomless side salad and soup for lunch? And they have added some new bold salad options such as Asian, and something crazy with dried cherries in it!?! Neither one of us had ever had a dried cherry, so decided to search on for the perfect menu choice. Kel noticed that they have eliminated all of their vegetarian dishes, and had to ask for their no-longer-listed-on-the-menu Black Bean Burger. I got a hold of the menu-insert with the "NEW" dishes on it and quickly went for the "NEW" Special Nachos. I have always liked the nachos there, so the the idea of a "NEW" version excited me. The picture of the "NEW" nachos in the menu looked like the the most beautiful set of special nachos I have ever seen! No surprise, that they came out looking like the same old Chili's nachos with some green onions on them! Great picture, though!
I'm Sorry!
If you have a problem with me, and my incessant status-updates, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you are unable to come up with such wittingly entertaining thoughts. I'm sorry that you don't have endless free time on your hands to look up quirky facts that no one cares about, but everyone likes. I'm sorry that you don't enjoy your time doing fun things that you would like to share with the rest of Facebook. I'm sorry that it is not easy for you to entertain people with your words.
I'm sorry that you would rather come up with SUPER LAME stati that make people want to de-friend you. I'm sorry that you feel sick, and wish you were not at work. I'm sorry that you play LOSER-Ville, and are concerned about which celebrity that you look most like. I'm sorry that you hate this weather, and you are wondering, "why me?". I'm sorry you're in class, and your homework sucks. I'm sorry that your girlfriend dumped you, and I'm sorry that you think Twilight is cool enough to still have status updates about Edward Cullen.
I AM NOT SORRY about being funnier, happier, and cooler than you are, though!
I'm sorry that you would rather come up with SUPER LAME stati that make people want to de-friend you. I'm sorry that you feel sick, and wish you were not at work. I'm sorry that you play LOSER-Ville, and are concerned about which celebrity that you look most like. I'm sorry that you hate this weather, and you are wondering, "why me?". I'm sorry you're in class, and your homework sucks. I'm sorry that your girlfriend dumped you, and I'm sorry that you think Twilight is cool enough to still have status updates about Edward Cullen.
I AM NOT SORRY about being funnier, happier, and cooler than you are, though!
Swan's Urban Dictionary, Part III
"a man will pay the bills, but a thug will keep it hood" -Advice from Slim Thug
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Glitter Splash
To the adorb crunchy hippie-chick who blasted me with golden fairy dust in the bathroom at Antone's last night:
THANKYOU! I appreciated how you only put small amounts of stripper-glitter on my face, compared to your.... much more serious approach. Though I was hesitant at first, you didn't really give me much choice in the matter. My eye-glam did NOT go un-noticed, and was mostly commented on by males. That's because all of the females who noticed were thinking, "Ewww, look at that Ginger with glitter all over her face. It's gold, and she's wearing silver accessories!" The worst part was that for some reason, I chose to sport some BRIGHT red lip-stick, also last night. I still can't get it off my lips as I sit here, and type, 16 hours later.
Regardless, I kinda liked the glitter splash. It was almost like those "Invisibility Power Ray Bans" that I found at ACL. Total game-changer! Just in time for Super Bowl XLIV! Who Dat
RED BOX
I am not really a movie fanatic. They're cool and all, but once I've seen a movie, I don't usually watch it again. Unless it's a SUPER funny movie, then I just download it boot-leg before your ass is even watching it at Tinseltown. I knew about the tiger in the bathroom before Mike Tyson did! I like movies, but I only watch 'em when I see 'em. I don't really go to the movie theatre, or spend money on seeing them. When I do go, I usually have a gift card from my mom... she's the ISH, for sure!
I didn't see Avatar, (3-D movies make me barf), and I have never read one word of any sort of Vampire Trash. Sorry Mom, I just think it's for losers. Yeah, I see movie trailers and think, "Man, that's looks like a kick ass movie!" But if you wait long enough, you'll forget about it, and then one day... It's on HBO! Awesome. The are only TWO forms of paying for movies that I agree with.
1. Alamo Drafthouse. We don't have this is Woodrow Compton, Texas. I am still lovin' it like a tourist, as I am with most of the things in Austin. I keep tellin my Dad that if he wants to make millions, he should open an Alamo Drafthouse right next to Texas Tech University.
2. RED BOX. This fool.... wow! Mad props to you. You have a box at every Walgreen's and McDonalds in the laziest, most movie-watching country EVER! RedBox passed Blockbuster in sales by 2007! It's the easiest way to rent a movie, and not get screwed into all sorts of debt.
3. Even though I said two, I just thought of another one. I'll have to admit that there have been a few times in my life where I couldn't find ANYTHING on the television, and I just couldn't help but to buy a movie for $4.99. Atleast you can't risk getting late fees, and you can record it!
Okay, this is not even what I wanted this to be about when I started writing about movies today. What I wanted to talk about was chick flicks. I love a good chick flick! Unfortunately, I have a low tolerance for emotional scenes, and sometimes it just feels good to just cry over a sad love story! When I imagine going to see one, I think of going with my mom, or girlfriends. NOT with a boy! I saw something today about a girl MAKING her boyfriend go see a sappy tear-jerker about a boy.... and a girl.... and they were separated by war.... and they wrote letters.... and you know the rest. What MAN wants to see that!?! None of them! Don't get me wrong, props to you for being able to get him to agree to it, he must really like you. Barf. You may be doing it as some sort of punishment, or to prove a point, and if that's the case, even more props! But me, personally, wouldn't really have interest in a guy who watched chick-flicks. I am not a fan of pansies, and I think that 8 hours a day of ESPN is sexy. You have to be careful that you don't let them fall asleep with Sports Center on though, because it runs on a 30 minute repeat-loop, and it could have some adverse effects on the brain. The moral of the story is, men should not watch chick-flicks. Stand up for yourselves, just say no.
SuperBowl Champs 2010!!!
Here is a copy of the "rules" for the game I will being playing for the Super Bowl this Sunday, that the Saints are going to win :
The New Orleans Saints Superbowl Drinking Game
1. Every time they mention hurricane Katrina, drink 1
2. If they show pictures of the City of New Orleans right after Katrina, drink 1
3. Every time they say how much the Saints mean to the City of New Orleans, drink 1
4. Every time the words “tragedy”, “flood”, or “devastation” are used, drink 1
5. Every time they talk about how good Reggie Bush was in college, drink 3
6. If they show Kim Kardashian in the stands, drink 5
7. Every time they show a picture of Reggie Bush with a bat or say “bringing the wood” drink for 5 seconds..
8.. Every time Reggie Bush gets negative yardage trying to run around in the backfield a bunch and outrun the defense, drink 1 and turn to the person next to you and say “I told you Vince Young should have won the Heisman”
9. Every time Reggie Bush gets up and flexes his arms in that pose he likes to do, drink 1
10. If they mention Tim Tebow for any reason, funnel a beer
11. Every time they say that “it’s destiny for the Saints to win” drink 1
12. If they show footage of Katrina survivors at the Superdome, take a shot of cheap liquor
13. If they call Saints fans the most passionate fans in football, drink 1
14. If they say that the Saints, Saints fans, or the City of New Orleans “deserve” a Superbowl victory, drink 1
15. Every time they say how good of a story the Saints are, drink 1
16. If Jeremy Shockey pretends to be hurt after dropping a pass, drink 2
17. If they mention the Saints beating the Falcons in 2006 in the first game after Katrina in the Superdome, drink 5 and remember that we are still a better football team with better fans.
18. Every time they compare hurricane Katrina to the Haiti earthquake, funnel a beer and yell “********!”
19. Every time they mention Drew Brees as the Mardi Gras king, drink
20.. Every time they show Archie Manning, drink 1, and mention how bad he sucked. If they show old footage of him on the Saints, drink 5. If they mention how tough of a decision it was for him as for whom to cheer for, drink 10.
21. Every time they show a saints fan yelling "Who dat!" Or a sign/shirt saying the same, drink 1.
22. If they show Chris Paul at the game, drink 1 and mention to someone how much better he is than Marvin Williams.
23. If they show former Mayor Ray Nagin, drink 5 and then punch someone in the face
Other Rules not involving the Saints:
1. Every time they show Eli Manning in the press box, drink 1
2. Every time Pierre Garcon is mentioned with Haiti, drink 1
3. If Brett Favre is mentioned for any reason, drink 1
The New Orleans Saints Superbowl Drinking Game
1. Every time they mention hurricane Katrina, drink 1
2. If they show pictures of the City of New Orleans right after Katrina, drink 1
3. Every time they say how much the Saints mean to the City of New Orleans, drink 1
4. Every time the words “tragedy”, “flood”, or “devastation” are used, drink 1
5. Every time they talk about how good Reggie Bush was in college, drink 3
6. If they show Kim Kardashian in the stands, drink 5
7. Every time they show a picture of Reggie Bush with a bat or say “bringing the wood” drink for 5 seconds..
8.. Every time Reggie Bush gets negative yardage trying to run around in the backfield a bunch and outrun the defense, drink 1 and turn to the person next to you and say “I told you Vince Young should have won the Heisman”
9. Every time Reggie Bush gets up and flexes his arms in that pose he likes to do, drink 1
10. If they mention Tim Tebow for any reason, funnel a beer
11. Every time they say that “it’s destiny for the Saints to win” drink 1
12. If they show footage of Katrina survivors at the Superdome, take a shot of cheap liquor
13. If they call Saints fans the most passionate fans in football, drink 1
14. If they say that the Saints, Saints fans, or the City of New Orleans “deserve” a Superbowl victory, drink 1
15. Every time they say how good of a story the Saints are, drink 1
16. If Jeremy Shockey pretends to be hurt after dropping a pass, drink 2
17. If they mention the Saints beating the Falcons in 2006 in the first game after Katrina in the Superdome, drink 5 and remember that we are still a better football team with better fans.
18. Every time they compare hurricane Katrina to the Haiti earthquake, funnel a beer and yell “********!”
19. Every time they mention Drew Brees as the Mardi Gras king, drink
20.. Every time they show Archie Manning, drink 1, and mention how bad he sucked. If they show old footage of him on the Saints, drink 5. If they mention how tough of a decision it was for him as for whom to cheer for, drink 10.
21. Every time they show a saints fan yelling "Who dat!" Or a sign/shirt saying the same, drink 1.
22. If they show Chris Paul at the game, drink 1 and mention to someone how much better he is than Marvin Williams.
23. If they show former Mayor Ray Nagin, drink 5 and then punch someone in the face
Other Rules not involving the Saints:
1. Every time they show Eli Manning in the press box, drink 1
2. Every time Pierre Garcon is mentioned with Haiti, drink 1
3. If Brett Favre is mentioned for any reason, drink 1
CLICK ON IT!!!
I hate the fact that I have to post this, but people from generation C don't really "get" computers.
***When a posting has a group of words that are a DIFFERENT COLOR and/or UNDERLINED, you can click on the word, or phrase, and it will link you to another web-site. I will typically do this when something is unclear and needs a wiki-def, video, or most often, a picture. There's NO telling how many key details and photographs have been missed by my most avid reader (my mom). Next time you see an UNDERLINED/DIFF COLOR word, CLICK ON IT!!!
Man alive! What a crazy 3 hours that was last night! I have watched Lost here and there over the past 5 seasons. Though I really liked the show, and Sawyer, I could never handle the confusion of what was going on. The whole backwards-time travel-black monster thing began to leave me questioning too many things, so I would get frustrated, and skip a few episodes. Even worse idea!
Last night, I sat down to watch the 5 season recap, and was determined to catch up, and gain a full understanding of what has gone down, and is getting ready to go down. I wanted to be 100% ready for the 2 hour premiere. Talk about a brain freeze! You know on The Butterfly Effect, when Ashton Kutcher travels through time and then his brain explodes and his nose bleeds??? That's what the 5-season recap made me feel like. Too much information. Too much craziness.
As prepared as I'd ever be, I began the season premiere. Why was everything under water? Why was Kate's voive under-water-sounding at the beginning? When the island moves, does it move underwater? DID the bomb work? Are they alive in 2 different places in time? Is Juliet alive in the future? Please tell me you saw that Dharma Shark!?! Will future-Locke stay paralized, or will Dr. Sheperd fix him? WHO is the mystery Jacob-Killer-Black-Monster dude? Christian? WHY WAS SAWYER DOING SUCH AWK FACIAL EXPRESSIONS!?! What's the deal with Sayid being so special? Is he really back alive, WTF!?!
When discussing this craziness with my boss, he told me,
"In Confusion, there is PROFIT!" Whether this is true or not, it definitely works for Lost.
Today in History: February 3
1690: 1st PAPER money is issued. 1783: Spain recognizes US independence. 1834: Wake Forrest University is established. 1870: 15th Amendment ratified (voting rights given to African Americans). 1913: 16th Amendment ratified (STUPID TAXES). 1959:The Day the Music Died. 1984: History's 1st Successful Embryo Transfer.
iSmear
A long horizontal smear on the bottom of your Iphone caused from answering a call using the slide bar with a greasy finger.
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