Drinking Smart

Mustache Party

As I have discussed before, I have an impulsive-purchasing-disorder, which I am not proud of. For me, the weekly grocery store trip quickly turns into a Pescaterian-crazed-Rachel Ray fantasy, with middle aged women mad-doggin' me as I block the aisles, looking up recipes on any one of my awesome recipe apps. (See; Can I Marry my iPhone!?! Part III) Cooking is my jam, so it's no surprise that my #1 FAVE compulsive purchase was my 3am Slap Chop 2 buy! An amazing tool, and often the highlight of my evening; the Slap Chop has dramatically changed my life. (Despite the fact that I didn't even receive my bendy-sweet-rubber-cutting boards, with handles!)

Well, now that I went on a short tangent.... let me get back to the issue at hand; my #2 FAVE compulsive purchase; the MUSTACHE PARTY! It all started last Summer, when I went to Nacagdoches for a "Stash Bash". It was insane, that town is insane, I plan to write a separate, and lengthy blog about the party crazed maniacs, and playboy cheerleaders that roam the SFA campus. Since the Stash Bash was around the same time my SFA friend was graduating, I decided I need to bring a gift for him. So one night, in an Insomnia driven internet binge, I quickly realized that what I needed to buy him was as many fake mustaches as I could find. I murdered every search engine like my life depended on it. By the grace of God, I somehow stumbled upon an ebay deal that seemed too good to be true. I had two choices; 1. Take the safe route and buy the ones that seem legit. Though I will get much fewer mustaches for my money on this deal, it seems to be the going rate for these babies. Option 2. Buy the shady mustache mountain galore, with an undecipherable Japanese description. Is it a scam-buy? Shit... Japan, or whatever language that is... that's pretty far... I wonder how long they will take to arrive? BUT, of course, I would much rather show up with more mustaches than you could imagine, as well as make sure and have enough to party with for the next few years..... I bought a few hundred mustaches that day. Unfortunately, they came in AFTER the Stash Bash in Nacagdoches, but they came.... holy crap.... they came! I got a box of fake mustaches that could stock up a Mr. Gatti's prize store for a decade. Freakin' awesome! Over the past 7 months, I have busted them out a few times, forgotten about them, given a ton away as gifts, and even tried a few on... nothing too serious, but always a crowd pleaser.

This weekend,however, changed all that. I finally had my mustache party! Some friends and I finally got crunk enough to put them to real use. As I busted out one package of mustaches, we quickly battled for the coolest stash-style based upon shape, size, and nick name. The mustache names are one of the best parts about them. Miles immediately jumped all over "The Casanova", and and Kelli went for "The Rogue". In my head I thought, "What the hell does rogue mean, Hitler?" Cass picked up "The Smarty" as a unibrow, and then decided it looked better on Allie, the dog. I went with "The Scoundrel" (handlebars, duh!) for my stash, and cut a Casanova in half for some pretty wicked eye-brows.... "The Casanova Cut". The photo shoot that occurred during this Mustache Party was insane in the membrane. Some photos, I pray never surface, but here is a pretty dang good one for you to see.