MTV'S "JERSEY SLORES"

HOE. LEE. COW! I couldn't possibly say enough about my new LOVE for the show, Jersey Shore, on MTV. It is freaking outrageous! Imagine a hair gel and silicon filled Real World House, mixed with a retard farm and a strip club. Trashy Television at its' greatest. I can't get enough. Honestly, I could type about it for hours, when really you should just go and watch the first episode in entirety 2-3 times. 2nd episode drops this Thursday. The preview shows Snickers, a teacup trash-ball, getting KO'd by a dude! Looks pretty dramatastic. It's definitely gonna get filthy, creepy and weird. Grab your man gel, Snickers & slut suits, and get ready to fist pump your creatine across Jersey.

HOW did I not invent this!?! Part II: Silverware Where?

Doing the dishes SUCKS!!! I hate doing them. period. I am kind of a freak about washing my dishes, in the sense that I prefer for my dishes to be ultra super freaky clean before I use them. I am a big fan of the steamy strong pre-scrub, during which I do my best to remove ALL traces of dirtiness. I HATE it when people put dishes in the dishwasher with food still on them. Get out of here, sick-stores.

The DISHWASHER. What a freaking out of control machine. Amazing. I lived a short period of time without one, Cassie I know you feel me right here, it was absolutely AWFUL! I never really felt comfortable with hand-washed, dishrag-touched, rack-dried dishes. Barf. Thankyou for the dishwasher, William Howard Livens!

Now, onto my radical discovery.... About a year ago, I was putting away some freshly clean dishes as a friend looked on in my kitchen. Watching me rummage through the silverware caddy, the friend asked why I didn't place the silverware in sections accordingly...... it hit me like a freight train! You're exactly right! Why don't I do that? More importantly, how have I gone 24 years without knowing that? Why don't my parents do that, teach me that? WTF!?! It seems so obvious, yet never crossed my "intellectual" mind. UGH! Anyways, now I strategically place my silverware in the dishwasher the RIGHT WAY! It's faster, easier, and it's fun.

Facebook is the Devil, but I love it!

Before I state my opinion on Facebook, let me go ahead and confirm that I am an AVID user. Of facebook. I enjoy creeping on people for hours a day just as much as the next guy, but it really is a horrible thing. But I love it. This could become an entire book over facebook; the Creepy McCreepertons stalking, the brain-washing farm games, the unlimited picture viewing of friends, friends of friends, and even strangers, the over-sharing, stupid quizzes, the wave of old 'foags jumpin' on the FB wagon, the repetitively annoying status updates, the perpetual in-and-out-of-relationshipers, under-cover-potential-employer-stalkage, the late-night lash-outs, the unwarranted chat sessions, living in fear of what you drunk-status-updated last night, it could go on for years.

Yet, I STILL LOVE FACEBOOK. If it were gone, I would die. I have pictures tagged of me all the way back to highschool, 6-7 years ago!!! I would like to think that facebook will always be something to look at, and eventually become a virtual timeline of your life. Not that I will still update my status, and post questionably humorous photos, videos and news stories when I am 50, but I still think it would be cool to check it out maybe...? just sayin...

So this brings me to my point, I'm hearing all this drama about facebook supposedly questioning membership fees for the future. Though I will be pissed off, and hate having to pay it, (notice how I said having to pay it), you bet your sweet ass I will be typin' in them CC digits. So will everyone else. Maybe not the old 'foags, soooooo..... awesome! I am tired of having to monitor my "older" friends, and what they can and cannot discover about my lifestyle through my facebook. PROPS to the facebook dude, he is about to BANK!