So, im sitting on the Little Woodrow's patio with some friends, and a Begger lady comes up. She is huge, homeless, and her T-shirt says "America's Next Top Model". She has tons of shit in her hands, some of which is pieces of pepperoni pizza. She hands us a card with some handwriting on it, and grubs on that pizza... staring.
"I am deaf. I cannot hear you. Please give me a donation so I can help my deaf family."
Call me evil, but I don't give a shit, and am absolutely positive that you are full of it! We deny, hand her back the card, and she moves onto the next table. She leans over the railing and hands them the card. There's more of them, but don't worry she has more cards! Under the pizza, and the Nokia that has "Snake" on it, she locates the back-up cards, and hands them out with marinara on her fingers. I knew this would be good judging by the ridiculousness that this table had displayed earlier. We start to banter and yell and call her bluff. As she is trying to play pictionary with 6 drunk tards, Bill yells, "You're not deaf!" She TOTALLY heard him and looked right at him! Bayum! Gotchya!
Wait! The drunk blonde says she knows sign language! We wait anxiously to see if we can realllllly bust her. They start doing some crazy stuff back and forth, people are yelling, laughing, all of which while America's Next Top Model juggles pizza crust and index cards. As we were hootin' and hollerin' the blonde stands up and screams at us, "Shut up! I can't hear!" ha! Really? It was awesome! The blonde girl gives her a dollar and she scampers. Translated, it was the blonde introducing herself, and then homegirl repeating the blonde's name back to her. "WTF?", I think to myself. Apparently, (according the Plastered Barbie) this is customary for sign-introduction, but she still never revealed her own name.
When we asked the girl why she thought homegirl deserved the bill, she said because she respected the fact that she spoke to her, and the lady communicated back. Pssschhh, it was such a joke! I asked, "So, since I can communicate back to you right now, can I have a dollar?"
Either way, it was thoroughly entertaining! I wonder how you sign in Chinese? Or Spanish? Is it different?
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