I'm having a really hard time with this. I have so many stories that I want to tell, but can't. I can't talk shit about people (bad dates) when they know that it's me. Ugh, I knew I never should have accepted his friend request! As much as I would feel terrible about telling my 5 followers what a lame date he was, I still want to tell them sooooo badly! You wouldn't believe some of the stories! How long is the appropriate amount of time that I should wait before I roast a douche-date? A week? A month? Never? What about right now? Okay, okay, I'll tell you.
I had the WEIRDEST 3 hours with the BIGGEST douche-bag a couple weeks ago. I met his guy at the Greenbelt one weekend, and was forced into one of those awkward can-I-get-your-number situations. Though hesitant, I thought it might be okay since we talked about both being artists. When he told me that he had a welder, I was hopeful that we could become friends and arts-n-crafting buddies. He was diligent. He facebook requested me before I got home. He wanted to show me his studio by Tuesday, and even offered to come get me from work. As I walked outside, I realized that his demand for picking me up was so that I could see his convertible Porche. Cool, dude. I arrived at his AWESOME house with my freshly wind-blown afro, and was quickly reminded that men are always about 4 years less mature than their age. Ready to get back to my car, I cried inside as he proposed a bite to eat on the way back to my office. Grrrrrreat, this should be fun.
You wouldn't even believe it. Fun. as. shit! We went to a Mexican Food restaurant that made Taco Taco in San Antonio seem like Abuelo's. He immediately pulled the Sissy Nancy Panda Bear act, and said that he just hadn't been able to eat much lately since his tummy was hurting. Going on the 3rd hour I had ever spent with the guy, he began to ask questions about my past relationships and life. I knew it had to end soon. We walked up to the register to pay, and our meal was $17. HE ASKED ME IF I MINDED LEAVING THE TIP!!! Despite the fact that he used his card, he thought it would be cool if I could throw down some cash. Are you eff'ing kidding me?
Glad to be on the way back to my car, I am releived that the windy ride is too loud for conversation. Wup! Not for this guy! He screams questions about my religion, which is a tough subject for me to express my opinions on. At first I was scared to offend him, but then saw it as an opportunity to make a fine impression for myself. Nothin' better than an awkward I'm-an-athiest convo.
The next question stunned me, "so..... on a scale from 1-10..... what do ya give me?" I didn't even know how to answer. Sick of his every being, I told him he was an 11, no doubt. Calls and texts persisted for a while, but I think he finally got the hint. I guess I will find out once I blast this story on facebook.
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Awesome.
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